Graduate School

It’s been a long process of deliberation, but I’ve decided to attend graduate school at UVM.

It wasn’t an easy decision. By the end of 2019 I felt incredibly burntout, mostly due to the fact that I had been taking two classes each semester in order to fulfill the math prerequisites, while also working full-time. I also had doubts about whether I actually wanted to do the program, which, when mixed with blind determination, makes for a deadly cocktail.

After winter break, I decided I wasn’t going to take any more classes in the upcoming semester to recuperate and reflect. Since then I’ve read, written, and journaled every day and have had extensive conversations with colleagues and friends. All of this lead me to the conclusion that I was trying to move through life too quickly. Even in the interim between the beginning of the semester and of a few weeks ago, I had applied for several jobs when I was supposed to be patiently reflecting. Luckily my gut knew that this was not what I wanted. All I needed was a breath of fresh air, a break from my own tumult.

With my mental in a better place, I was able to make an intentional decision, one free from any external pressure or momentum, one that was aligned with both my head and my heart. I promised myself that I would take things more slowly, even if it meant being in school longer, which isn’t so bad all things considered: I can focus on deeply learning the material by spreading my studies out across 3 years instead of 2, and I can continue working full-time, which means tuition will be covered. And I have more reason to stay in the beautiful VT.

In regards to my desire to help others in a meaningful way, that is something I am still figuring out. It’s certainly possible to steer my graduate efforts toward that end, but as for the specifics, I’m not sure yet as to how. As flight attendants so dutifully remind us during takeoff: I must first put on my own oxygen mask before I can be of service to others. That is something I am still learning. For now I hope my writing serves that purpose. I know for me it certainly has.