Slacklining

And Getting Shit Done (GSD)

weekly
Published

June 25, 2022

Photo by Sean Benesh.

Prior to publishing this I caught a whiff of my inner critic and felt some harshness toward myself. It amazes me how hard I can be on myself sometimes. I’m trying to (gently) change that. A little reminder then:

Without diving into the strangeness of self-worth as a concept we tout, know that your self-worth is not contingent on what you publish or its quality. Writing is simply something you like to do and share! Give that inner critic a long hug and tell him you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.


I went slacklining the other day despite not really feeling up for it. I had learned everything I wanted to learn the previous year (minus the butt bounce), so I thought it wouldn’t be fun unless I was improving at something. I’m not sure when I developed this attitude – it probably has roots in my hardcore gaming days – but I went ahead anyways and had a great time. The bike ride to my usual spot by the lake, the cottonwood seeds floating along weightlessly under the clear blue skies, everything culminated to the gift of a perfect summer day. I didn’t have to try too hard to drop my attachment to the feeling of progress. I just had to get up on the line and walk. The rest simply followed.

I did learn something too: when two opposing forces meet, there exists the possibility for a perfect kind of harmony to emerge. It rears its head at the point of criticality between stable and unstable, at the moment right before a system splits into multiple modes of being, right when your body and gravity conspire to kiss the resistance of the slackline in a dance for equilibrium. If you aren’t fully present you’ll topple over. But maintain the juxtaposition and something beautiful happens.


GSD

Regarding my research, I’ve been digging into ideas that fall under the philosophy of science umbrella. Things like measurement, what it means to study something like resilience and depression, and so on. None of it has directly moved any projects forward (I’m still scrounging around for one…), but these are important issues that ultimately influence how science is done.

For example, in depression research it’s common practice to add up self-reported symptom scores when attempting to determine whether or not someone has depression. If their score is above a certain number (a threshold value), they are then classified as depressed. In clinical studies, this is done so that you know whether or not an intervention worked. If their total depression score falls below the threshold value after taking an antidepressant for three weeks, say, then the antidepressant works – eureka! (Barring any issues with the experimental design, analyses, and so forth, of course.)

This seems well and good, but what does this change in total depression score really mean? In what ways does it reflect a qualitative difference in a person’s subjective experience, if at all? When researchers add up symptom scores like this, they are assuming that the difference between a total score of 9 and 11 is the same as the difference between a total score of 13 and 15, which may not be the case. Additionally, symptoms such as ‘loss of appetite’ and ‘decreased mood’ are treated equally in this sum score approach to depression, another assumption that seems questionable to myself and people more experienced than me to talk about this stuff.

All of this is interesting – and frustrating – to think about. You can get lost in the weeds and grow cynical towards science as a result because you still have to ‘Get Shit Done’ (phrase credited to the postdoc researcher I’ve started meeting weekly) with imperfect and imprecise definitions and measurements. You still have to churn out academic papers and make scientific progress in the name of ‘progress’. But without a solid conceptual grasp of what we mean when we study depression or anything else, is science really making any progress? Is it helping the people it purports to be helping?