I. Summer of COVID-19

This time around the antagonist is a consequence

of randomness and stupidity;

Not the usual trail of mosquito bites lining my ankles after a night by the lake–

Not the flakey crust of sunburned shoulders and sun-spoiled cider roiling in the drunk sand–

Not the hurried kiss of a summer love meant to be a memory–

No instead I am accompanied by an unfounded certainty, a future I cannot yet begin to imagine

without compromising the numerous stitches already upholding the architecture

of a life once mine.

II. In the Dark

Oscillating between

despair and restlessness;

newsfeeds and skin–

poems and music;

pasts and a reality

running from reach.

III. Falling

Your face in the bathroom mirror again staring back at someone something unknowable wondering how long it takes for regret to leave the body

IV. How

To move forward?

To get over myself?

To save myself

when I myself

lack myself

the smiling

confidence

of an untouched life?

V. Kintsugi

Begin with love and generous fingertips, yours. Lace the roiled sand between the cracks and piece together the moments one by one. Hold them still as if your life depended on it–it does– and wait. Growth requires time. Meaning demands patience.